It is April 6, Monday, I could swear today was Sunday. Entering the 4 fourth week in quarantine, due to the deadly Coronavirus, it is somehow difficult to pay attention to time. Time has a new frame right now and it doesn’t feel linear.
Time and chaos seem to be running at a different pace and light.
The year of 2020 started like any other New Year. I remember one of my last Kundalini yoga classes, where I was talking excitedly with my dear Yoga teacher about what 2020 would have in store for the world. He said then, that the year of 2020 would be the year of commitment, that it would be a great year for us to commit.
After a 2019 of intense studying, I was excited to focus on my work, new work partnerships and expanding my practice. I had also planned a trip to Brazil. Finally, after eight years of hiatus, I was taking my children to visit my Brazilian family. My children and I were very excited to go.
The first Coronavirus case was reported in China in November of 2019, soon afterward it started its fast spreading to other countries, but it didn’t really hit the USA until much later in January 2020.
All of a sudden, the whole world was facing a total chaos, mandatory quarantine, fear, thousands of people sick or dead.
I had to stop working, lock myself at home with my children, cancel the trip, and face the new reality. Face the chaos…
What is chaos? Disorder, disorganization, pandemonium, madness, tumult, disruption, lawlessness.
For me, personally, the first two weeks were the most challenging, trying to make sense of what was happening in the entire world and in my internal world, pondering how to regroup. And how to survive it all?
Then a timid inner voice said : commit…
And I did, it is learning in progress, a day by day process. The chaos is still there, and it is moving full speed, fear is still around and yes, hell is so close, but I was able to teach myself to step back a bit, take a moment and breathe and allow myself to see that there is still a lot of beauty in the world. Small things are the most powerful life forces.
The world we used to know doesn’t exist anymore, it is reorganizing itself at full speed.
It feels to me that we are forced to reset, there is a different silence in the air, a new stillness. We are facing a serious situation where there is need for big social and community effort and responsibility.
There is beauty in commitment, there is beauty in surrendering and observing the movement of life in its chaos.
I am committed in do my part in all of it, to keep adapting myself everyday, to keep stepping back to observe myself and the world around me over and over again, to see beauty in the unknown, to surrender to what I cannot control, to help people and the world the way I can, and feel gratitude for every breath of life, for the health of my family and my friends, for the birds what are still singing their songs, for nature and for the opportunity to live.
There is always an opportunity to grow and to choose how we want to grow.
Thank you for reading