I would like to share here an insightful story that came to me during a morning meditation.
It was a sunny day and I was on a long drive through a forest, the forest had giant redwoods, there was a main road with trees on both sides.
Sometimes I came across one or two trees that had fallen and were on the ground, I was able to drive around it and keep going, then at some point of the road there was this massive giant tree lying on the road and blocking it completely, both sides of the road were blocked by very tall rock boulders which made it impossible for me to drive around the tree.
I stopped the car, got out, walked around, and asked myself “what will I do now?”
Didn’t seem to have many choices available or at least that I couldn’t see any at that moment, going back was not an option, because as I drove the road disappeared behind me, so there was no real road back.
After a very long time of being upset inside my old car, with very little sleep, and feeling miserable I decided to yell for help, at first my yell was not very strong, it was a shy cry for help since I was not used nor comfortable about asking for assistance. I got no answer, then I got more frustrated and started to scream for help, nobody listened, there was nobody around.
At that time, I decided that I was the only one there and I started to talk with myself, maybe we (me and I) could find a solution to keep on moving on? So I started to talk to myself, but for that talk, it was also necessary to listen, so I did. I listened to my deepest feelings.
I shifted my focus to myself and stopped to focus on the giant tree blocking my way and the old car stuck there with me, I started to open my sight more and more and looked around. Yes, there were the very solid boulders blocking the sides but there was also a little river running on the left side, so I walked a few steps to it and drank some water, I was thirsty and probably dehydrated. I started to feel a little better but I was also very hungry, being without food for so long, then I noticed that right there at the right side of the road there was a beautiful apple tree full of apples! I ran there and ate many apples. My strength was coming back, I looked up to the clear blue sky and did feel deep gratitude for it, the air was so clean, I took a deep breath and enjoyed the feeling of the fresh air filling my lungs. Then I started to hear the beautiful song the birds were singing! They were there the whole time, I was not alone, but I was too distressed before to listen to them.
I decided it was time to move on and to get to the other side of the road, I didn’t need the old car anymore, it was sad to leave it behind but it was the right thing for me. It was useful and we had a lot of adventures together and a long story of many drives together, however, it was time to find my new way and move forward.
I started to try to climb that giant tree. Tried one, two, three times and could not, I fell, got some bleeding open cuts. The sun was going to sleep, the night came in, there was a beautiful full moon, and I could hear the wolves howling on the other side, I howled back at them, using their call to fill myself with a new strength, hope, and faith. I allowed myself to rest and had a good night of sleep.
Woke up the next morning to the song of the birds and the freshness of the early morning.
Then I asked myself, “what is my plan today?” I didn’t have one, but I was open to keeping the talk with myself going.
I had an “aha moment” yes, I knew what to do. I drove the old car full of its stories and knowledge, as close as I could to the tree, and I used it as a platform to help me climb that giant trunk. And I then was able to successfully climb the redwood that was resting quietly on the ground.
I arrived at the top, and looked down, for a moment it took my breath away, it was so high the view was amazing and so beautiful. My way down would require some serious work!
I started to climb my way down from the redwood, slowly and carefully, making sure I was safe and that I was going to land on the other side in one piece without broken bones.
After some time I did arrive at the other side safe and sound!
I was so excited and proud of myself, more importantly, very grateful for my own help and self-love through the entire ordeal.
I looked around the road and it was clear, I took a few deep breaths enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine kissing my face, and I said to myself: you see Guacira we did it!!! You are there for me! Now let’s go and walk this side of the road. Leaving the old behind, being humble, grateful for what I did learn, and celebrating what it was to be found.
Then as I did my first step on the road I heard this little voice: Hey stop! Are you sure you will leave your old car behind? I then answer: Yes, I just did it! Did you realize how much time I lost trying to bring it together with me? It is what it is, my choice was to be stuck back there, with my old life, or move forward, and I took my chance to move forward.
A few more miles ahead the little voice came back and said: “Hey, wait, you see, now that you left your old car behind you won’t have a safe place to sleep at night. I gave another deep breath and smiled back at the voice, and I said:” Why would I need the old car if I have the stars?”
As I walked, the sun once again went to sleep, and the stars came out, bright, beautiful, and infinite, thousands of them. To my delight, a gorgeous full moon did enter the sky making it as special as it could be. Filling me with its magic and excitement.
I then allowed myself to rest and sleep into that magical night, protected by the moon and the stars.
The next day, as I started to get ready to keep walking the road, the voice came again, this time in a quieter way, and said: Are you not afraid? There will be wild animals. I gave it my biggest smile and patiently answered: No, I am not afraid, there is always a risk of wild animals on the road, and it makes the road even more exciting and fun.
I heard that voice one last time as it was asking me if I knew where that road would take me. I did and I don’t. How far will I go? Nobody knows. I am ready to enjoy every single step of this side of the road, keep moving forward always, being stuck is not an option and never was. I am not afraid I am happy.